Why won't Larry David see "Brokeback Mountain"?

Because his brain would tell him he might go gay.

I just know if I saw that movie, the voice inside my head that delights in torturing me would have a field day. "You like those cowboys, don't you? They're kind of cute. Go ahead, admit it, they're cute. You can't fool me, gay man. Go ahead, stop fighting it. You're gay! You're gay!"

Not that there's anything wrong with it.

That's funny, Larry, but I can think of better reasons for not seeing it.