Monday, November 20, 2006

say [no] to abstinence??


Scarlett Johansson has become the latest Hollywood actor to critize President Bush, this time over his beliefs regarding sexuality and abstinence (here). She apparently believes that he is "too unrealistic in his opinions on the topic."

Let's see what she has to say for herself, and then we'll go phrase by phrase in an attempt at translating what she is actually saying. (Hopefully, we won't get lost....)

Here's the statement in the article in full:

We are supposed to be liberated in America but if our President had his way, we wouldn't be educated about sex at all. Every woman would have six children and we wouldn't be able to have abortions.
Now, here we go:

"We are supposed to be liberated in America"

TRANSLATION: We are supposed to do what we want in America (just like they do in Holland!), even if that means aborting children to cover up our "mistakes." So what if we forgot to use a condom one night. We want to experience the pleasure of our actions without worrying about any consequences. America is all about every child a wanted child, right?

"but if our President had his way,"

TRANSLATION: See? I'm being nice. I'm acknowledging him as the President, and not just some dumb Texas cowpoke who had Karl Rove steal the elections from Gore and Kerry.

"we wouldn't be educated about sex at all."

TRANSLATION: Sixth graders wouldn't have sex education classes, and so they wouldn't learn about the proper way to have sex. Plus, no condoms would be passed out in the hallways.

"Every woman would have six children"

TRANSLATION: Women, as a rule, are incapable of showing any type of restraint, especially in regards to sex. If some guy asks for sex, a woman can't help but give in to him. And nine months after they have sex, she'll give birth to sextuplets. This will happen every time.

"we wouldn't be able to have abortions."

TRANSLATION: Like I said, we wouldn't be able to take care of our mistakes.


ALSO: Check out this sentence in the article: "A staunch Christian, Bush is vehemently anti-abortion and is seeking to have the operation made illegal in all US states." Really? How is he doing that, exactly?

MORE FROM: Townhall Blog, Political Pit Bull

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